I am ...opening

Saturday, October 08, 2005

History

he left .. they were talking
she thaught they had everything
she wasnt stupid , she knew they didnt have the stars in their hands
but she thuaght they didnt need it...
she doest know if they should blame each others
but i know she 's balming herself,
blaming life for putting him in her way from the 1st place ..
blaming him for taking her heart that way ...
but this is not taking them anywhere
now it's a history
but not to be told to the others ...

A Question !!

I wonder about somthing , how can u ever be sure this is the one for you? do u depend on your heart or mind ..or both ? and what if they dont agree together ? or do u always realise it , when u cant realise anything after that ..

INCOMPLETE

Empty spaces fill me up with holes
Distant faces with no place left to go
Without you within me I can't find no rest
Where I'm going is anybody's guess
I tried to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be is
Incomplete
Voices tell me I should carry on
But I am swimming in an ocean all alone
Baby my baby it's written on your face
You still wonder if we made a big mistake
I try to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be is
Incomplete
I don't meant to drag it on
But I can't seem to let you go
I don't wanna make you face this world alone
I wanna let you go (alone)
I try to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be is
Incomplete

opened :S

wish she kept it all inside ,she thuaght talkin makes people feel better , but it doesnt..
only added another negative feeling to the "bad feelings' mountain" ..
she wanted you to know why she couldnt be there anymore ..
she thuaght it wouldnt be fair to go without sayin goodbye..
goodbyes arent good, and they dont make it better , if sth is bad, nothing makes it better ...
she wonders why when sth is good , really good , tiny things can turn it upside down .. why do tiny bad things happen
Why did u have to do wt u did , that pushed her away
they were small actions she knows..but they meant alot to her
they waked up the chicken scared littel girl inside of her ..
they made her think it was gonna be bad forever..no matter how hard you both tried
they made her think she only had two choices , beeing sad or running ..
running sad as well..
but if she runs now , as sad as she is , she can control it ,
if she stays she doesnt know how painfull this can be
she doesnt know the limit it can reach
she keeps wondering if what she did was just a reaction on ur tiny bad things , bec she never took any action
or she's doing the right thing
she thinks and thinks and thinks till her brain stoppes in a point ..
a min ago she was sure about wt she 's doing like she's never been
now after doing this
she doesnt know if she 's right or totlay wrong ..
she should 've asked Allah , but u came 1st and surprised her by coming
u made her say it out loud ..
all the madness she was hiding , the stupidity even , the deep thinking , the confused ideas ..
it's all out loud now
if she says there 's no way to take it back ,she would be lying
ther's awlays a way back
and if she ever finds out she was wrong
she will say it
and she will say I am sorry
i just wish she could find out ..

deeeeeepression

من اكتر الحاجات اللي تعباني ، كمية الاكتئاب الفظيعة على الانترنت.. مش عارفة النظرية صح و ا غلط بس الناس كلها بتدخل
awayاو علي اقل تقدير apperaing offline
ماحدش بقى ليه نفس يتكلم ..
و لو صادف و سألت حد ازيك حيقول
اهي
ماشية ..
عيشة و السلام
....
i tried to understand this ..
questions kept poping up in my mind ,
1st i thaught it was just me. means my friends got bored of me and they dindt wanna talk to me again
but i noticed that not just me..
and it's not just on the internet
i see depression everywhere
empty talks , empty laughs
empty people walakin around
robots , i dont feel life around anymore

as i write this i think i maybe miss-translated the whole scene
may be it's just me :)

غريب

حاجة غريبة جدا ..
على قد ما كنت خلاص حتخنق من حبسة الكلام.. و ماصدقت لقيت حتة اكتب فيها براحتي، علي قد ما كل الكلام هرب مني .. يظهر و الله اعلم ان الظروف كانت على طول سامحة .. مش موضوع مدرسة و لا دروس و لا ثانوية و شغلة امتحانات.. الموضوع هو صوت اتعود على الحبسة لحد ما نسى انه اتخلق عشان يقول حاجات تانية غير التفاهة و الحواديت و النكت .. انا اقسمت على نفسي اني مش حبقى تافهة.. و انا ورا صوتي لحد ما يطلع