I am ...opening

Saturday, October 08, 2005

opened :S

wish she kept it all inside ,she thuaght talkin makes people feel better , but it doesnt..
only added another negative feeling to the "bad feelings' mountain" ..
she wanted you to know why she couldnt be there anymore ..
she thuaght it wouldnt be fair to go without sayin goodbye..
goodbyes arent good, and they dont make it better , if sth is bad, nothing makes it better ...
she wonders why when sth is good , really good , tiny things can turn it upside down .. why do tiny bad things happen
Why did u have to do wt u did , that pushed her away
they were small actions she knows..but they meant alot to her
they waked up the chicken scared littel girl inside of her ..
they made her think it was gonna be bad forever..no matter how hard you both tried
they made her think she only had two choices , beeing sad or running ..
running sad as well..
but if she runs now , as sad as she is , she can control it ,
if she stays she doesnt know how painfull this can be
she doesnt know the limit it can reach
she keeps wondering if what she did was just a reaction on ur tiny bad things , bec she never took any action
or she's doing the right thing
she thinks and thinks and thinks till her brain stoppes in a point ..
a min ago she was sure about wt she 's doing like she's never been
now after doing this
she doesnt know if she 's right or totlay wrong ..
she should 've asked Allah , but u came 1st and surprised her by coming
u made her say it out loud ..
all the madness she was hiding , the stupidity even , the deep thinking , the confused ideas ..
it's all out loud now
if she says there 's no way to take it back ,she would be lying
ther's awlays a way back
and if she ever finds out she was wrong
she will say it
and she will say I am sorry
i just wish she could find out ..


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